Finding ourselves with extra time thanks to Memorial Day weekend my husband, Tom, and I decided to take a road trip. We had been curious about the progression of a family member’s house restoration in the neighboring state so off we went to the Commonwealth of Virginia.
Amy and Richard (Amy is Tom’s sister and Richard is her husband) purchased a house in 2006 that was in need of repair. In fact, the house was built in 1847 and had not been inhabited since 1941 so saying that it was in need of repair is a definite understatement. To be specific: the house was covered in poison ivy, had a bee infestation with many walls covered in honey, did not have electricity or plumbing or heat, the fireplaces were falling off the house, there was no kitchen or bathrooms, and it was in need of foundation work. But other than that it was a great house… really; the house is regal and the property is stunning.
For the next 5 years Amy and Richard have poured their heart and soul into the project of restoring this house. At first every weekend was spent at the house doing back breaking and somewhat dangerous work. Ultimately they left their home in North Carolina and rented a house nearby so that they could concentrate on the restoration. Although they hired contractors for the skilled work much of the remaining activities were performed by the two of them. Each holiday when they visited we would ask the inevitable question, “When are you moving into the house?” “We are in no rush” was the typical answer, which was vague and somewhat unsatisfying to the listener.
This past weekend when I walked around this incredible house with shiny wood floors, new bathrooms, a new kitchen, and porches with rocking chairs I was in complete awe of Amy and Richard. Not just because of the physical labor (which just for the record I would have given up 4 years and 11 months ago) but because of their tenacity to the goal.
I found myself wondering how does someone stay so committed to a difficult project over a long period of time? Rather it’s a house or a business goal; we all experience the problem of maintaining focus and enthusiasm when the finish line in a long way in the future. So how can we increase our probability success? Experts say that long term goals requires two things: a vision and short term goals.
Start with identifying what you want. Very often this is the hardest part. Many of us are afraid to define what we want. Why? Because if we don’t reach it; we will have to admit failure. Of course, in our minds failure is bad. Avoiding failure is very simple…..never decide what you want….that’s what many of us do. Of course, that’s not the answer.
Do this exercise….sit in a quiet place in a comfortable chair with your favorite adult beverage. Allow yourself to answer the question, “What will this look like when the project is finished?” Jot down your thoughts. Next, ask yourself, “What will this feel like when the project is finished?” Again, record your thoughts. If you are visual by nature find representations of success. You might have a picture of your reward for completing the project. Post these pictures where they are regular reminders.
Next, create short-term goals that move you toward the vision. You only need to start with a few of these goals. Beware that too many goals or too big of a goal can create inertia. As one of my mentors puts it…..this is like standing on a warm beautiful beach and we can see the horizon in the distance. However, seeing what’s on the other side of the horizon will mean leaving that nice warm beach, which could be too hard. So just set your goal to get to the horizon.…where you can still see the shore. Once you are at the horizon you can see further and will be more willing to leave the beach behind.
This is exactly the process Amy and Richard followed. They created in their mind’s eye a vision of the finished house but most importantly they could feel it. They knew what it would feel like to sit on the porch on a summer’s day, they knew how the finished floors would feel under their feet. These positive emotions will helped to drive them to accomplish the second task….creating a series of short-term goals. As they accomplished these goals, they began establishing the next ones until finally they could see the ultimate goal…..move into the house. That’s why they never provided a move in date….it was too far in the future and they would have lost motivation if concentrating on that goal.
I am very happy to report that after countless hours of work, thousands of tick bites, and hundreds of snake sightings, they plan to move in at the end of this month.